Memorial Garden

Thought it might be apropriate to have a place to remember those who've gone before us,whether they have two or four legs.

Weesa has lost her beloved Grandmother and I would like to honor her life with some candles and roses. I know from Weesa's comments she will be greatly missed by her family. She's now returned to her better self and will only know peace and joy and freedom from hospitals.

If she has unfinished business,maybe she'll leave Weesa a message somehow.

Nice to have a spot for this, thanks Maxie!

Here's to my brother Keith, who after many years battling lympatic Cancer finally went on to the other side, to say he is missed is an understatement, his caring and sense of humor were something few people possessed. There is hardly a day when I don't want to send him an e-mail or that I look for one from him! Know he looked up my folks and is having a good time visiting them and his friend Gary that died years ago, just wish I knew to to e-mail him where he is now!

Hugs to you Weesa!

Wonderful idea Maxecat, wish I had thought of it.

Thanks for the hugs.

Would like to place remembrances for my Granny, Pappaw, and Grandpa all of whom are missed
daily by many.

Remembering my mother, who passed two years ago today.

Close to this time of the day, actually.

Probably not a coincidence that I ended up here.

In memory of coolcrookshanks' Mother.

The flowers and candles posted for the departed are all so beautiful.
Makes me want to continue to give flowers to my loved ones for non important occasions as well.

I would like to start a prayer for all our veterans that died so that we may be free. This is why I make it a point to vote at every election that I'm permitted. I also like to support the troops by sending them cards and donations of treats or toiletries that they ask for.
I also send a prayer out to the families of the soldiers and officers that have died in the line of duty. It is important to support them too as they endure hardships both emotional and financial. I ask for our community to find out how to give them real support as they carry on in life.Typically you can ask the local recruitment center on how to do so.

This support is more widely needed than the public knows. My son works at Walter Reed..He goes through the recovery wards daily to get to his lab.
The former Physical Therapist in him gets angered when he sees the broken bodies of kids so young but what he's most disturbed about is the mental torment. He says the public has no idea of how many suicides are attempted by returning soldiers and veterans. Some are complete,some bringing even more devastation.
For policitcal purposes, the number of veterans who end their lives,or who fall into self destructive behavior in a slow form of suicide,is buried in paperwork.It's as bad,if not worse than the disaster of Viet Nam vets struggling to rebuild their lives in the 70s.

Wounded Warrior seems to be a pretty good program.I'm not sure about others but it is a worthy cause to comfort those who've gone through this experience.

I've heard of it. What does that program do?

I'm not sure..have seen commercials for it..I think it's a social support system...anything from letter writing,visiting in hospitals to providing car service ..I should find out these things before mentioning them,shouldn't I???

That's ok Maxie - gives us something else to look up, right?

As for Walter Reed, you are not allowed to send mail to random soldiers c/o the hospital any more - they have a couple of soldiers who recieve the mail, just to throw out all the random stuff that is not personally addressed to an individual soldier currently at the Hospital. Horrible. Would it be that much of a hassel to spread the love to these broken boys? I did send some of these cards to a VFW hall in Virginia one year, and the gentleman there had said he would take them over to personally deliver them to random soldiers who looked like they could use some cheer. If I can find that address again, I will pass it along.

Here's the link for that project. Wounded Warrior

Thanks Weesa,I was going to get in touch with my son to see if Walter Reed had any other programs.

Not a problem, you know I have that Google addiction

My best friend, who in online reports I called "crazynurse" passed away at home on the early hours of Monday, November 21, 2011, after a long illness with a series of setbacks. The whole story is here.

She came home in hospice care on Friday, November 19, 2011, and was welcomed with firetrucks, ambulances (she was an EMT, Paramedic, and nurse).

Crazynurse's homecoming was followed by a weekend of joy, love, and laughter. Visitors came to share memories, and occasionally tell a bad joke.

Each night crazynurse chose a movie to watch. Saturday was Dances with Wolves, and Sunday was Spaceballs. We were going to work our way through some other Mel Brooks movies next.

While we were watching the movie, crazynurse's 15 month old grandson was playing alone in the kitchen. He was running around and giggling, showing one of his first birthday cards to someone, and running around like he was being chased, and holding his arms up the way he does when he wants to be picked up by someone. The older daughter and I were watching him, looked at each other and wondered if he were playing with Pop-Pop Bob, who had promised to come for crazynurse when it was time.

As her daughter and I were settling her in for the night on Sunday, crazynurse asked me if I were staying. I had prepared to do so, and had a bag at the house already. I told my intention for that night was to go home, but that if she wanted me to stay, I would stay. She asked me to stay, and so I grabbed my bag, brushed my teeth, pulled off my sweatshirt, kicked off my sneakers and laid down on the couch.

Notice, please, that I didn't say that I got my adorably cute jammies out of my bag, put them on, and laid down. I was fully dressed.

We were all exhausted. I was asleep within a couple of minutes.

I had a very vivid dream about going to talk to crazynurse's spirit guide, and to offer her food for the journey. Her daughters both told me (the one in the room next to her, as well as the one with the baby monitor, that they heard crazynurse and I talking to each other … but “not in English, in some other language I never heard.”)

I woke up suddenly after that, I think in response to a change in crazynurse's breathing. I woke up her daughter who got the younger daughter downstairs.

Within a few minutes of that, with all of us there talking to her, holding her hand, crazynurse passed, at 12:12 am on Monday, November 21, 2011 … not the exact 20th anniversary of her husband's death, but, like him, three days before Thanksgiving.

Mary Jane (Hoffman) Smith

Born:*July 04, 1946

Died:*November 21, 2011

Services: *Relatives and friends are invited to attend her Funeral Mass at 10AM on Friday, November 25, at Corpus Christi Catholic Church, 900 Sumneytown Pike, Lansdale, with burial following at George Washington Memorial Park.
Visitation: *Family will receive friends on Wednesday from 6-8PM at R. L. Williams, Jr. Funeral Home, Inc., 3440 Skippack Pike @ Cedars Rd., Skippack.
Mary Jane (Hoffman) Smith, 65, passed away at her Towamencin Twp home on November 21, 2011. She was preceded in death by her husband, Robert G. Smith, in 1991.

Born July 4, 1946 in Philadelphia, she was a daughter of Mary Jane (Clary) Hoffman of Southampton, NJ, and the late Roy Hoffman. She was a 1964 graduate of Academy of Notre Dame in Philadelphia, and a 1967 graduate of St. Joseph Hospital School of Nursing in Philadelphia.*

Mrs. Smith was a registered nurse. She worked at the former Philadelphia General Hospital and then Montgomery County Emergency Service of Norristown. She was a founding member of the Montgomery County Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) team and served as the clinical coordinator, was a paramedic and E.M.T. volunteer at Volunteer Medical Service Corps of Lansdale, and a Montgomery County E.M.S. and E.M.T. instructor.

In addition to her mother, she is survived by two daughters, Barbara Jane Fallon and her husband Matthew of O’Fallon, MO, and Mary Elizabeth Harris and her husband Dennis J. of Lansdale; a sister, Catherine M. Cheeseman of Sicklerville, NJ; and three grandchildren, Bailey Renee Smith, Shaela Robin Fallon, and Draven Robert-Jeffrey Harris.*

In addition to her husband and father, she was preceded in death by a brother, Roy A. Hoffman.

Relatives and friends are invited to attend her Funeral Mass at 10AM on Friday, November 25, at Corpus Christi Catholic Church, 900 Sumneytown Pike, Lansdale, with burial following at George Washington Memorial Park. Family will receive friends on Wednesday from 6-8PM at R. L. Williams, Jr. Funeral Home, Inc., 3440 Skippack Pike @ Cedars Rd., Skippack. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in her memory to CISM, EOC c/o EMS, 50 Eagleville Rd., Eagleville, PA 19403. Online condolences may be made to the family at www.RLWilliamsFuneralHome.com.*

Memorials:*In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in her memory to CISM, EOC c/o EMS, 50 Eagleville Rd., Eagleville, PA 19403.

We'll all miss you Janie.

ladyhawke I`m so sorry. I read the whole story and I must say that it is what I call real friendship. I`m sorry she must suffered so much but the end was so peaceful. And the dream you had... I wrote to Weesa some weeks ago - I would like to be strong enough to let my beloved pass at home surrounded by family and friends and hold their hand. I hope I will be when that time will come. Here people usually die in hospital and I hate that imagination. My father passed 14 years ago due to the accident on bike and passed in ICU. I was 19 and my mother refused to be there with him and I wasn`t clearly offered to be there. I don`t know if I would find enough courage in that age. Now I know for sure I would want to be there.

I hope you can find some relief in the way she passed. She is in peace and with her husband now. You and her family are in my thoughts.

Ladyhawke,your story is so touching. There was real love and magic in that house. I don't believe we are ever alone when we pass,no matter the circumstances but how wonderful to be surrounded by loving friends and family.
Maybe Janie will find a way of getting in touch with you to let you know how the journey was.

She already has ...

Not only have I had visits in dreamtime, but there are little things that have happened while I'm awake that made it clear that it's her.

ladyhawk, can you give me an idea what can happened when someone who passed tries to connect us? I mean, I don`t want exactly know what happended this time to you, I don`t want to be discourteous. But it looks like you know what to await. I would like to know, maybe I can find some presence of my father. Do you think it is possible after so many years? I can talk to him and know he is answering. But never thought about some signs.

Thank you.

Lady wrote:ladyhawk, can you give me an idea what can happened when someone who passed tries to connect us? I mean, I don`t want exactly know what happended this time to you, I don`t want to be discourteous. But it looks like you know what to await. I would like to know, maybe I can find some presence of my father. Do you think it is possible after so many years? I can talk to him and know he is answering. But never thought about some signs.

Thank you.

I'll start a separate thread on this topic. You can join in on the discussion in this thread.

crazynurse's funeral was today.

It turns out that I remember a lot of the Catholic Mass. That thing, where they say give me your children to me until they are twelve, and they will be mine forever? It's kind of true.

It was a lovely service. The priest's homily was very good, and hit on a lot of significant points of crazynurse's life and work, rather than being a cookie-cutter "she was a good wife and mother" sort of thing.

After the communion, I was invited to the altar for my eulogy. One of my friends said that as I finished, the sun came through the stained glass windows, and lit first me, and then the whole altar.

I didn't notice. I was busy trying not to lose my place. Or stutter. Or fall down the altar steps when I finished.

I made her mother and daughters cry, and a lot of people laugh. I gave the printed copy to her mom. Everybody seemed to like it.

The last four months have been a trial, both for Janie and for everyone who loves and cares for her.

Which, if my math is right, leaves 780 months of pretty good time, so the last four months comes out to half of a percent. Let's remember best the other 99½ percent of Janie's life.
I met Janie not quite 30 years ago. I was her husband Bob's friend. He brought me home one night and the family decided to keep me.

Some of you have known her longer than that, some less, but we all share something other than just knowing Janie.

In some way or another she has touched every single person in this room.

She may have been the paramedic who came to care for you.

She may have been the psychiatric nurse who helped you find hope in your darkest hour.

She may have been the friend who listened without judgment, or with it, if that's what you really needed.

She may have been the critical incident stress management peer who guided you through the shock and fear of a bad call.

She may have been the instructor who didn't just teach you, but got you excited about learning.

She may have been the wife you loved deeply and dearly.

She may have been the mom who dried your tears.

She may have been the daughter who always knew her own mind.

She may have been the foster mother who let you know that you were a real part of the family.

She may have been the sister who took the blame for something you did.

She may have been the Mom-Mom who spoiled you rotten.
She may have been the aunt or cousin that brightened every family celebration.

She may have been the person who was always there with an open heart, ready to help at a moment's notice. Well, if you didn't mind that that moment might be at least a half-hour later than you expected it to be.

She may have been the best friend who frustrated you because she never listened.

From the 4th of July, 1946 to the 21st of November, 2011 Janie became a part of a lot of people's lives, and now, through each of our lives and actions, she will continue to change lives.

What she has done does not end here, it begins as we continue where she left off.

She is at peace, and let us all find peace and hope in carrying on for her.

As we drove to the cemetery, I was listening to a CD in the car. It was a "mix" CD I had burned nine or ten years ago. It's labelled "atomic." It has every song I could find about the Atomic Bomb ... Hiroshima by Utopia, Enola Gay by Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark, Manhattan Project by Rush, the classical piece Threnody for the Children of Hiroshima, and so on. Well ... there aren't 80 minutes of songs about the bomb, so I filled the rest of the CD with other stuff, including the original and the 1995 remix of Paul Hardcastle's 19, and, a song I do not remember being part of the CD ... It's Raining Men.

Crazynurse LOVED that song. At every nuthouse party, the song would be played, crazynurse would go to the middle of the dance floor, and every single man at the party, employee or not, was told by their wives and girlfriends to go dirty dance with crazynurse.

So, after I got over the shock of discovering this on my CD, what did I do?

I played it all the way to the cemetery. LOUD. With the windows and sunroof open.

Oh, and another funny thing. The cortege was lead by the hearse, followed immediately by an ambulance. There were a couple people scratching their heads over that one ... Nice little bonus ... the ambulance has that thing that turns traffic lights green ... so even though it's common for a funeral procession not to stop, we actually didn't have to for the entire ride.

Oh,ladyhawke, what a wonderful tribute to your friend. Your eulogy made me cry and the Raining Men made me laugh.

I'm glad the priest was personal with the service. The idiot priest who said my mother's funeral Mass couldn't remember her name and kept calling her "Bill's wife". My husband had to hold me back from standing up and making a scene.
Janie sounds like she exerienced a life well lived,all the more reason to have her hang around...but this time the cost was too much. Seems like her spirit is still fiesty enough to make its presence known already.What a gift.
thank you for sharing with us.

My dear friend Richard passed on Monday and because of the holidays I only heard about it today. All of the post holiday giddyness has come crashing down.

Richard had fought the effects of juvenile diabetes since a child,had become a successful physician,recovered from multiply by pass surgery only to have his health challenged by a horrific car accident 3 years ago. It took a year to recover from all the broken bones and multiple repairs but he was back working as a consultant,organizing his garden and tending to the funerals of his parents a few months ago.
Last week he had yet another operation and developed pneumonia at home. It would seem a blood clot related to the surgery broke loose and eventually killed him.

That it happened at Christmas seems all the more sad. It was always a special time for him and his family.

Different lifestyles over the years had us going separate ways but oh,the memories...

I suppose there are a lot of blessings in this passing as his life would never be anything but difficult and he had mentioned to many people he'd never live a long life.But, he was in his mid 50s and his mind was still sharp..as was his tongue.

In his honor I'm arranging some formal designs to become part of our memorial garden. He was an avid gardener,another hobby we shared.

There you go,Richard. Some beautiful calla lilies and a basket of fine wines to celebrate your life and the balancing acting act you did with adult beverages and insulin.You lived every minute and fought harder than anyone I could imagine to regain your old life. Now, you go on,,pain and insulin free and see what you can do to whip Heaven's gardens into shape.

Ladyhawke what a splendid tribute to a friend, nice her parting was peaceful, so few people are comfortable with the idea of life's end. Nice the ambulance would travel with the procession making her final earthly journey smooth!

Maxie sorry to hear about your friends passing, I know you were praying for his recovery. Obviously his spirit was needed else where and he no longer needs to suffer! Hugs to you dear. What a lovely memorial to create a formal garden here at the gardens it will be a real blessing to all of us!

Sam goes and lights pink candles for Crazy nurse and Richard may they know they were loved and will be remembered for the lives they led so well!

Sorry to hear about your friend Maxecat. He's sounds like a terrific guy.

Lights lots of candles and places flowers to remember all those lost this year.